Happiness

Happiness is the great human endeavor. Since the beginning, philosophers and teachers have sought to define happiness, teach us how to find it, and explain why it often eludes our grasp. The pursuit of happiness is something we all share in common, so it is a topic of great interest. If someone seems to have captured happiness, we want to know how they did it. In this article, we will look at three men who were authorities on the subject.

Solomon

Happiness is completeness or fullness. When our life is full, we are happy. When we are lacking, we are unhappy. Most people believe if we get what we want, we will be content. If our dreams come true, we will be full. This idea pervades our culture. We reckon God feels this way, too. He wants us to be satisfied, so He will give us the desires of our heart. We rarely stop to think this might not be true. What if getting what you want leaves you empty?

Solomon, the son of David, set out to test this premise. Most of us only dream about having anything our heart’s desire, but for this king, it was no dream. He had the resources to get whatever he wanted, so he denied himself nothing.  

All that my eyes desired, I did not refuse them. I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure. (Ecclesiastes 1:10)

Solomon went after noble pursuits in his quest and some not so noble. He sought great learning and knowledge. We would pat him on the back for this one. We assume noble pursuits are the right path. Those who pursue bad things end up empty, and those who seek good things find contentment. Yet Solomon reached this conclusion:

I communed with my heart, saying, “Look, I have attained greatness, and have gained more wisdom than all who were before me in Jerusalem. My heart has understood great wisdom and knowledge.” And I set my heart to know wisdom and to know madness and folly. I perceived that this also is grasping for the wind.

For in much wisdom is much grief, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow. (Ecclesiastes 1:16–18)

He sought completeness through pleasure, wine, women, and song. Pleasure presents itself as the road to happiness, and we believe it, especially when we are younger. The allure of pleasure never wears off for some, but Solomon saw its folly. 

I said in my heart, “Come now, I will test you with mirth; therefore enjoy pleasure”; but surely, this also was vanity. 2 I said of laughter—“Madness!”; and of mirth, “What does it accomplish?” (Ecclesiastes 2:1–2) 

Certainly, a good building project will make us happy! Have you ever watched those shows where someone builds their dream home? They appear so ecstatic! Maybe it will work for us. Solomon explored this idea only on a much grander scale. He built houses, planted gardens and orchards, and constructed pools. Yet, he was still empty.

The road to happiness is paved with acquisitions. This is another popular conception. If we acquire things, we will be satisfied. This is big in the United States, and we have constructed the American Dream around it. “I want it all!” is a popular anthem of our day. Solomon joined the chorus. Only he was much better at acquiring than most of us. He gained male and female servants, flocks and herds, instruments of all kinds, and people to play those instruments. Yet, having everything wasn’t enough.

Perhaps money will do it? Some people are interested in wealth, for wealth’s sake. Possessions are not important, but the bank account is. Solomon tried this one, too. He gained not only silver and gold, but treasures from around the world. Whatever had value, he wanted it and got it.  

We don’t know how many years Solomon pursued his desires, but we know his conclusion:

Then I looked on all the works that my hands had done

And on the labor in which I had toiled;

And indeed all was vanity and grasping for the wind.

There was no profit under the sun.  (Ecclesiastes 2:11)

We all walk down the road of human desire. Some of us never leave it. Yet, if we are blessed, we will come to question it. What if this is the wrong way? What if this course promises happiness but only causes suffering? Our next teacher questioned the path of getting what we want and left it behind. Once he did, he reached some vastly different conclusions about human happiness.

The Buddha

Siddhartha Gautama was a prince who lived in northern India about twenty-five centuries ago. He lived a sheltered life far removed from human suffering. Encountering the misery of common people shook him so much he left his privileged life. He spent years wandering, seeking a solution for human unhappiness. He finally found enlightenment and became a Buddha. The word Buddha means “a person who is awake.”

The prince concluded that human desire is the source of suffering. In other words, our yearning for happiness is what makes us unhappy! The way to joy is to let go of desires and expectations and seek enlightenment instead.

This isn’t poor advice! I sometimes use a little Buddhism when people seek my counsel. If I see there is no way to change their situation, I tell them to embrace their unhappiness rather than fight it. Fighting discontent only strengthens it. Sometimes it is okay to feel rotten and accepting that often brings relief.

This is a very Christian principle. We are familiar with the Serenity Prayer. It begins with the words: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change….” Lord, let me make peace with my life the way it is! This is a surprising key to happiness, one that the Buddha labored to grasp centuries ago. If following our wants leads to suffering and folly, it is time to find an alternative way. I must admit after years of searching myself, I agree with the Indian prince. Happiness has a far greater tie to enlightenment or seeing than it does to achieving or obtaining. As Solomon revealed, the way of getting and becoming is vanity. It might give a fleeting glimpse of completeness, but we will never arrive. If your happiness is always “someday,” you are on the wrong path.

Jesus

Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it.  For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost?” (Luke 9:23–25)

Jesus’s words are like the Buddha’s. Both countered the wisdom of the world. The world’s wisdom says the way to contentment is to get what we want. Jesus and Buddha said this is a lie, and Solomon would agree. They offered wisdom in stark contrast to the world. The way we find happiness is to lose it.

What we want becomes our life. If we think money will make us complete, we will live for money. Yet, the ancient wisdom says that whatever is our life, our desire…our god must be lost, and through that loss we find completion.

There is a difference between Buddha’s teaching and the teachings of Christ. We find the difference in Jesus’s words, “for my sake. (Luke 9:24)” Jesus presented Himself as the life for which we lose the life of the world. In fact, Jesus redefined life. The world defines it as our circumstances, (good and bad), our possessions, and what we do. Christ taught us to forsake all these definitions. To follow Him was not just to live for Him, but to find life itself in who He is.

Discipleship is the exchange of the finite for the infinite. We lose our finite measures of righteousness and who we are for the infinite measure of Christ. Solomon in his quest said, “All my eyes desired I did not refuse.” He lived for things that could be seen and found only vanity. Christ compels us to live for the unseen, the infinite. We define our lives through our greatest possession, and we find our identity here, too! When the infinite is our prize, we are on the road to life.

Barren places are an important part of our walk with God. In such places there is little to entice the eyes. A wilderness does not have to be a location. It can be an empty time in our lives when we have nothing we want. We may even have the opposite of what we want.

The ego (flesh) associates such places and times with unhappiness. Its goal is to leave behind times of not having for having. That is how the ego tries to escape unhappiness. It will “trust God” to get it to where it wants to go. Along the way, it will define the purpose of its discomfort with self in mind. The hard times make us strong! The flesh can’t comprehend that self is never the point of the wilderness. It is a place of revelation; a place God unveils His glory. The Lord strips us bare of the finite measures of completeness, so He can reveal the infinite.

Thus, we find happiness in the most unhappy places. The road to completeness goes through a wilderness. In fact, God brings us to unhappiness with great intent. He brings us to dissatisfaction so He can reveal that we are complete in Him.  Emptiness is a sign of God’s favor! His wisdom is beyond the ego’s comprehension. The world says barren places are to be avoided, and they are associated with sorrow. Yet, God’s wisdom compels us to embrace them with joy, for the Lord has brought us there to meet Him.

So don’t waste your unhappiness! If you can’t turn away from what you want or what you think you need to be, you will forever be grasping for the wind. Yet, if you look to Christ (this is repentance!), you will see that you were never really were incomplete. Incompleteness is another one of the ego’s illusions. You are full and complete in Christ. Thus, completeness is not something you gain or achieve; it is something that is revealed. It is so as Christ is so. One of the great ironies of life is where this revelation comes. It does not come at the heights the ego craves, but in lowliness. It is in such places we see how blessed we are and who we are. We don’t have to change our lives to become happy. We merely have to open the eyes of our heart.